Happy Holidays Everyone
Sorry for no updates, but it is winter break and I’m working full time, double shifts. Don’t have days off either. So for a month I’ll be working. Have a very safe and happy holiday season!
Archive for year: 2004
If I Was President of the U.S.A.
The first thing I would do is take over with my minions and follwers and change my title to Dictator. Sorry, but the state of this country politically, economically, and globally won’t change with democracy. Now, my agenda will be very lengthy and detailed. There is so much crap that needs to be fixed or mopped up. So, the first thing I would do is make a live broadcast apologizing to the world for the idiocy and cockiness of all the country’s previous leaders and this nation’s citizens. I immediately would pull the hell out of the Middle East, and say, “Middle Easterns, please feel free to govern yourselves and live your lives, as it is not our duty to make you conform to Western ways.”Bada bing, I just solved the issue of terrorism! Terrorists will be like, “Holy shit, this Dictator kicks friggin ass!” Then they’ll go attack some other country, like, hmmm, England or the Phillipenes? So, now that we no longer live in fear, my next move is to burn the Patriot Act. Yes, burn it. First I will wipe my ass with the cover, and then pour gasoline all over it and ignite it with a flame thrower. There has never been a more restrictive and invasive document ever created. This document slices your rights in half. Land of the free my ass.Ok, we got rid of terrorism, and we got rid of the Patriot Act. Dictator seems to be a bit of a harsh word, as people worldwide are beggining to like me. So lets change my title to Reformer. Now, our economy is extremely screwed up. Unemployment is ridiculous, and people aren’t spending money. Time to fix that. And in order to fix that, I will have to fix a lot of other things in the process.
First, I will command that all vehicles that consume a petroleum-based product must be decomissiioned within a year. Anyone producing or driving such a vehicle will get a very big fine and jail time. Next, I will command that vehicles must now run on hydrogen power. So, all vehicles after a year better be running on fuel cells or else. Well, now people are bitching cause they have to go buy new cars. No worries my fellow Americans! You can TRADE IN your gas-guzzler for an environmentally friendly fuel cell car for FREE! Of course, I will pay all the expenses to the auto industry with all the surplus cash I will have that Bush saved up for the war.
People are starting to like me worldwide, cause I’ve just greatly reduced global warming. The U.S. is now being known as the “green” nation, because the air all of a sudden is so damn clean there (except for the factories, but i’ll get to them soon enough). Everyone is happy with me except Big Oil. They’re furious. Well douchebags, too bad. Instead of making $300 billion per year from now on, you will have to settle with $10 billion per year. Greedy bastards. I will impose regulations on oil, allowing it only to be used in the production of petrochemical based products. Thats still a big friggin chunk of what we use today, so Big Oil, stop crying.
Next up is the factories. Stop producing so much smog and pollution. Reduce your emissions by half or else you get fined. There.
OK, the economy still isn’t fixed. Thats why I’m gonna devote a big chunk of the budget to technology. Scientific technology mostly. Research and Development is now assigned to find ways to make our lives better by being more efficient, effective, and clean. I want those factories to run on something safe within 10 years, not on Coal. So get working. Well, the rise in the tech industry will cause a huge opening for jobs. More jobs = more money. More money more spending. Therefore, the economy will recover.
OK, i’ve solved terrorism, environmental issues, and the economy so far. OK, and now for crime. Every day someone gets shot. Guns are a big problem. We can’t make guns illegal cause they’ll just be smuggled in. We can add tracking devices to guns and bullets, but that still won’t prevent the murder. “But we can find exactly who the killer is!” Good for you, the victim is still dead. Now get back to the R & D department and find a way to ressurect people. So, here are a few simple solutions.
- Cops should have the right to shoot your ass if you run from them. If you’re a cop and you’re pointing a gun at a guy and say “freeze, you’re under arrest!” and the guy says, “fuck that” and runs you should be able to shoot him. Well, in the leg or something. Make the fucker think twice.
- Murder should be punishable by death. And i don’t mean like “wait on death row for 10 years” How long does it take to charge up an electric chair? Not 10 years. If a guy is found guildty for murder, he should be executed within the week of conviction. Why do you think nobody steals in Arab countries? If you get caught stealing, they chop off your hand. Kill the fuckers so they won’t murder any more. I don’t care if your wife kicked you in the nuts, or someone raped you. Your nuts and an abortion are not worth a human life
- Legalize drugs……and then tax the living shit out of them. You’ll have all your teenagers going, “Awwwww snap, pot is legal man, that’s so awesome! Lets go get high while listening to Dave Mathews dude!” And then impose a 500% tax on it. “Wanna go get some weed, bro?” “Hell no man, that shit costs like $1500 per eigth!” That’ll teach them. Of course, there will be the feins who will spend that much, but who cares. They end up on the streets anyway, so they’re not taking anyone’s job or money (unless youre a sucker and you give them money cause they tell you they have polio or something).
- Just to reinforce #2, Chris Rock made a very good suggestion. Make each bullet cost $5000. Nobody is gonna go spend $5000 just to kill someone. And if they do, they will die anyways.
Education: I’m sick of this “undereducated” argument lower class communities are giving. From now on, i’m regulating teachers pay. In fact, i’m regulating their degree’s too. In order to teach, you must have a PhD from a specialized Teaching College which I will erect (and it will be run by harvard educated professors). Every teacher will be paid the same amount of $70,000 per year. That way, they all get the same pay wherever they go, and have the same level of education. I will increase spending on education so all schools can have books and learning materials. If needed, i will take away from the rich schools so the underprivaledged schools can get what they need for a successful learning environment.
Health Care: Copy what Canada is doing.
As a reformer, I have successfully fixed this nation and increased our status in the eye of the world. The Anti-American sentiment has gone down (although if you’re gonna go to a different country and be a cocky bastard, and you get jacked, beat up, lynched, or whatnot, don’t expect the US Embassy or the US Government to intervene). The world is now a cleaner place, although not necessarily a safer place. Our country is more secure and safe. People are able to excersize their rights again without the fear of the Patriot Act and its Nazi ways. The military is unchanged, except for the fact that it is no longer fighting a war where Big Oil and rich people are sacrificing lives in order to increase their profits. Now, as I sit back and relax and watch this country thrive, I command that a few Hollywood hotties be escorted to my office so I can…test their performance skills.
Finished
Sorry for the downtime yesterday. There was a small error with the DNS servers, everything is now officially fixed and back to normal. I’m working on a website for a friend, so I haven’t been working on this site much. I will update the Works In Progress page under Design when I have uploaded it.
99% done
Yay, I fixed the Guestbook issue! All that is left is a few Gallery problems which I’ve notified my host about. So, in the meantime, I invite you to watch this exciting video about an upcoming Olympic sport called Sand Diving (found it on a storage CD I have from 1999). Click HERE to download it.
New Host (again)
Finally got everything transferred over to my new host. Took me like 3 hours to upload everything (300+ MB ). There are a few small issues I gotta work out with the Guestbook and the Gallery, but everything else is back to normal.
Switching Hosts Again
Well, i’m switching hosts…again. Hosting-PP.com is a worthless pile of shit as a host. Aside from downtimes every week, it disables a key feature required to operate a portion of this site without telling anyone. after many customer service requests, they finally tell me that it has been disabled on purpose and will not be re-enabled. I join a discussion about this on their forums, and end up getting banned. The host then pretty much says, “it’s disabled, the end, now please STFU.” so i found a more reliable host. I won’t get as much storage space, but they sure as hell have better customer service and hosting services than this site. NEVER EVER EVER get hosting from Hosting-PP.com.
So, this site might have some downtime in the next few days as I transfer over to a new host and rebuild it. I apologize for the inconvenience.
Election Day
Are you eligible to vote? I am. Are you voting? I’m not. This has to be the most ridiculous election for me. Both candidates are straight out idiots. There are very marginal differences between the two. Sure, one has his plusses where the other has his minuses. That makes it 10 times more confusing. A good candidate would be someone who had 50% of Bush’s views and 50% of Kerry’s. I don’t want to vote for two people who are the same, except on different extreems of the political sides.
This next president will most likely mold my generation. Rumor has it that the next president will pick anywhere from one to four Supreme Court justices. Four?! That’s HUGE. They say if Kerry wins, we can pretty much say goodbye to our Second Amendment rights. Four Supreme Court Justices. And these guys will be on the Supreme Court for at least a decade or two. New laws will be written under these new justices in favor of the next president. Ammendments quite possibly might be repealed. People don’t quite realize how much power is in the hands of the next president.
Why do I have to settle with such extreme candidates? Its obvious that this is no longer the same world we lived in 100 years ago. Being extreme left or extreme right is not necessarily a good thing. Our generation wants to work for the better of everyone. We want someone who is more towards the center. Someone like Howard Dean or John McCain. Republican and Democrat mean nothing. All they are is sides created during the civil war. One was pro-slavery, the other was anti. The meaning of Reupblic and Democrat today has been masqueraded and degraded to the point that there is no difference between the two.
This country needs a president who will work for the support of everyone, whether Democrat or Republican. There’s enough anti-American sentiment in the world today. Why elect a President that most likely will piss the world off even more? People say that if Bush wins, we stay in Iraq, but if Kerry wins, we draw out of Iraq. Let me tell you something, we’re going to stay in Iraq, no matter who wins. Two reasons:
- Oil
- Power
Our country is entirely oil dependant. No, getting rid of gasoline powered cars won’t help. There’s things called petrochemicals that are pretty much the basis of the majority of our everyday goods. Plastic and rubber are two examples. Petrochemicals are used in shoes, toys, appliances, computers, wheels, machinery, and so on. By pulling out, we will be losing a big portion of our oil supply. If we don’t lose it, then prices most definately will skyrocket, not only for gas, but for many other products as well. This ties in neatly with power.
American presence in Iraq. What does that mean? It means that the U.S. now has a foot in the Middle East. Iraq is now a U.S. stronghold. The U.S. can now police and monitor the middle east more efficiently and effectively. It is now within arm’s reach of virtually every terrorist organization in the world (well, obviously not all, but a huge portion). If our next president was to pull out of Iraq, that would be a sign of weakness. It would pretty much be a green light for terrorists to attack the U.S. again. We are not going anywhere. We’re staying in Iraq whether we like it or not. Our Middle Easter power bae just doubled in strength. We need that position, just in case Saudi Arabia, which is on edgy terms with us right now, decides to go haywire and stop providing oil. Its just too useful of a tool for the U.S. in policing the world.
So, friends, if you are going to go vote, think to yourself: will it really make a difference? Take a stand and vote for Ralph Nader, or Mickey Mouse instead. Yes, every election Mickey Mouse gets around 0.23% of the vote.
So whats next? PLUS: Jon Stewart vs Tucker Carlson
Well, the site is working again, the gallery is up. What’s next? Probably the long awaited Xanga archive. And after that, I hopefully will get 30 second audio clips for each song in every album in the Tunes section.
So I was watching Crossfire the other night on CNN, all to be surprised by…Jon Stewart, the host of Comedy Centeral’s The Daily Show. I must say, things turned out pretty ugly between Tucker Carlson and Jon. What was supposed to be a friendly Crossfire debate quickly turned into a heated insult flinging extravaganza. Tucker started of by saying Stewart was a sellout for publically backing up John Kerry. Stewart came back bashing Crossfire, saying it was “partisan hackery” that doesn’t do anything to advance democracy. Going back and forth, things got a bit out of hand, with both guys getting pissed. Tucker then demanded Jon be funny, and Jon replied “I’m not going to be your monkey.” Tucker then said that Jon was “more fun” on The Daily Show, so Jon replied that Tucker was more of a dick on Crossfire. It was awesome. I think Jon blew Tucker out of the water, cause Tucker kept avoiding the hard questions Jon was flinging at him. You can watch the entire event here and decide for yourself who won.
Gallery Up!
I am happy to announce that the photo gallery is up and working perfectly! So perfectly, in fact, that it has photo galleries from events dating back to as early as 2002! You can view the gallery by clicking on the Pics button in the menu. Clicking on a thumbnail will open the picture in 640×480 view. For a more detailed look, click on that picutre again for an 800×600 view. You can leave comments on pictures if you want as well. I will be going through and labeling each picture, describing who is who and what is going on when I get the chance. This gallery is also much better than the gallery i had on the old site. More user friendly, easier to use, and shouldn’t take lots of time to load 
Enjoy the pictures!
Back To Normal
OK, site is back to what it was before the move. BUT, one change: the guest book. I took advantage of the opportunity to use a better guest book, one that is easy to use, easy to customize, and easy to admin. The only bad part is, I couldn’t transfer posts. So what I did was, I rewrote all the guest book entries and added at the bottom of each when they were originally posted. The entries include all the original post information, including IPs, except for the date. Hope you enjoy the new guest book.
